Funny Thoughts To Ponder

How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
Why can't donuts be square?
Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?
How can they arrest you for being 'legally drunk'? If it's legal, why is there a problem?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of smell?
Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Do people in prison celebrate Halloween.... if so how?
Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of Siamese twins? Who gets to be king?
Why do we recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Why do they call them "Free Gifts"? Aren't all gifts free?
Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
How come cats butts go up when you pet them?
What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?
If a criminal turns himself in, shouldn't he get the reward money?
Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?
Why are dogs noses always wet?
If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?
Why do they lock the lid on a coffin?
Why don't women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Do bald people get dandruff?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an 's' in the word "lisp"?
Why do superheroes wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
If a taxicab driver were to drive backwards, would he end up owing his passenger money?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If you melt dry ice, could you swim without getting wet?
Do pigs pull their ham strings?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
If the Cincinnati Reds were the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
Can you cry under water?
Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car? And, why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?
If a bouncer at a bar gets drunk and unruly, who throws him out?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

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