Funny Thoughts To Ponder

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
What was Captain Hook's name before he got the hook?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you without your clothes on anyway.
Where does the toe tag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every few hours?
Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you are the main witness, what if you say "no"?
Do they bury people with their braces on?
How far east can you go before you're heading west?
How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
When lightning strikes the ocean, why don't all the fish die?
When two men get married to each other, do they both go to the same bachelor party?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack, should they save him?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
When crazy people walk through the forest, do they take the psycho path?
If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
If a parsley farmer loses a law suit, do they garnish his wages?
Can a cemetery raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?
What do they call male meter maids?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
If you were driving at the speed of light and turned on your headlights, what would happen?
Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
Can atheists get insurance for an act of God?
What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?
If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?
Do you yawn in your sleep?
Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?
Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
If someone who has their nose pierced has a cold, and they take their nose ring out, does snot come out of the piercing hole?
If you speak only one language, are you lingual?

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